Juleeta

Spiderman: Far From Home Helped Me See That I’m Living With a Teenage Superhero

July 9, 2019 By Juleeta 4 Comments

My favorite MJ, Zendaya, and Spiderman, played by Tom Holland, in Spiderman: Far From Home.

Will you ever write about boys and body image?

Moms ask me this question often, and I am the perfect mom/writer to ask. Because I have many boys. And, to be honest, all of them are already asking questions about their bodies. When it comes to looking at themselves in the mirror, they do what girls do — compare their bodies with others, inquire about how to lose weight and how to gain muscle, and (for some ridiculous reason) pinch the skin around their mid-sections and make critical comments.

I am befuddled. I do not understand the male brain.

But I do understand some of my boys’ body image concerns. For now, I am doing three things to stand alongside them as they grow and form their identity.

I am listening.
I am encouraging (when I can speak encouraging truth).
I am watching movies with them.

Why I am doing the first two things is fairly obvious. It’s all the adult-talk these days. Listening and encouraging is part of loving. But the third?

The third helps me see what my boys are comparing themselves against. And more than anything, watching this movie convinced me I am exactly on the right track.

Tom Holland nails his role as the teenage protagonist, Peter Parker, in Spiderman: Far From Home. Occasionally awkward, easily embarrassed, and intelligent in that endearing and slightly geeky way, Holland reminds us that Spiderman is both a superhero with unlimited potential and a teen boy just trying to be normal.

But what I loved about this movie was what it helped me realize after the credits (and two post-credit scenes) finished scrolling the movie screen. [Read more…] about Spiderman: Far From Home Helped Me See That I’m Living With a Teenage Superhero

Great Body Image Books for Girls

June 6, 2019 By Juleeta 1 Comment

Thank you, Suad Kamardeen, for this picture of a girl touching the books before she pulls one off the shelf. She shops for books like me.

According to the National Eating Disorders Association, body image concerns often begin at a young age. “By age 6, girls especially start to express concerns about their own weight or shape, and 40-60% of elementary school girls (ages 6-12) are concerned about their weight or about becoming too fat. (Smolak, 2011). Furthermore, over one-half of teenage girls and nearly one-third of teenage boys use unhealthy weight control behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, smoking cigarettes, vomiting, and taking laxatives (Neumark- Sztainer, 2005).”

These are the facts we are up against. Girls are more at risk than boys for eating disorders. The number of girls suffering from negative body image is on the rise. And these rising numbers reveal that our young women need help understanding that they are valuable and dear to us.

But how can we get our young women to understand how we see them? What can we do to guide them into believing they are beautiful and lovely and breathtaking because God made them that way?

In my own journey toward establishing healthy body image, I have found encouragement from reading good books that promote body positivity. I think this might encourage our daughters, nieces, goddaughters, and granddaughters, too.

My friend, Stephanie, recommended these books and I think they make great reads for girls between 8-12 years old. I’ve been pouring through them this last week. They are well-written books and convey what we hope our daughters believe about themselves. And, not surprisingly, as I read a few out loud, I found myself reminded of a few truths I needed to hear for myself. Enjoy!

Pretty, by Dani Coplen, takes a turn on the word, Pretty. Throughout, Coplen threads a sweet, encouraging message for young women today.

Writer Dani Coplen and Spanish artist Natalia De Frutos nailed it with Pretty! Bright, saturated images paired with genuine encouragement will speak directly to your daughter’s heart. This book will challenge her (and maybe you) to see “pretty” in a whole new way. This picture book is a gift, and it should find a place on your bookshelf.

Mother, OB-GYN, and best-selling author Christiane Northrup creatively introduces new ways for us to consider and speak about the female body. Her fresh take benefits girls of all ages.

I love the very first page….

“Hello, beautiful girl.

Do you know how lucky you are?

Why? Because you were born a girl!

And as a girl, you have been given special gifts

that will bloom as you do.”

Written by Christiane Northrup, M.D., Beautiful Girl explores the responsibilities, changes, and gifts that come from being a girl. Her message gently guides young women toward body kindness. I especially appreciate how she closes the book, uniting daughters and mothers and sisters and girlfriends for the sake of strength and love.

This book was a pleasant surprise! The team at educateempowerkids.org has put together a relatable message, one that most girls (and their mommas) will certainly connect with.

The more I read about Sydney’s thoughts, the more I thought: Am I Sydney?

Let’s face it. Women, younger and older, are inundated with messaging that tempts us to believe all kinds of ridiculous things. We might even find that we are giving up who we are in exchange for being accepted by the cool girls. Messages About Me challenges cultural norms, and for that reason, it is worth the read.

For this book, Dannah Gresh teamed up with Nancy Demoss Wolgemuth, editor of the bestseller Lies We Believe. It reads easily and challenges young women to identify what lies they are believing that they many not even be aware of.

When we choose to identify lies and replace them with the truth, we can choose to change the way we think. Lies Girls Believe is an approachable book that invites young women to see themselves in light of God’s love for them. Relationships with parents, friends, teachers, and even siblings are addressed, which makes this book a helpful tool for any young woman who wants to believe she is more than what the world tells her.

In future weeks, I’ll be reviewing book for older girls, specifically teens. Any feedback you have on these? I’d love to hear it here. I hope you (and your favorite girl) enjoy these summer reads.

Smack Dab Between A Girl and Her Social Media

May 2, 2019 By Juleeta Leave a Comment

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Who is holding our beauty?

“For no one ever hated his own body, but [instead] he nourishes and protects and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:29).

Growing up, I loved imagining what I would look like when I was a woman.

I imagined how beautiful I would be, maybe even like the movie stars on magazine covers — my curves perfectly formed and my face shining with blushed cheekbones and pink glossed lips.

I look back at my teenage years and wonder what it would have taken to believe that I was beautiful, right where I was.

What about our teenage girls today?

Our girls don’t stand a chance at believing they are beautiful if we don’t stand beside them, smack dab between their bodies and their social media.

On Snapchat, girls of all sizes and builds are lambasting each other for being too skinny or too fat, for being a hoe or for being prude. Loud girls and quiet girls are lurking in corners, imagining what they might do to gain more likes, hoping the Instagram approval will translate to self approval. As girls increasingly compare themselves to edited images of celebrities they see online, the requests for this increases — plastic surgery. For birthday and graduation gifts, more and more girls between 12-18 years old are asking for plastic surgery to fix their still growing noses, derrieres, lips, and breasts.

I don’t know if my awkward, silver-braced smile had a chance to feel pretty back in 1991, but I think I would have crumbled underneath what our young women battle in 2019. Don’t most of you mammas feel the same way?

All the more reason to teach them to love their God-given bodies by nourishing, protecting, and cherishing them, exactly as they are. And maybe teach ourselves to do the same.

Resurrection

April 19, 2019 By Juleeta Leave a Comment

I do not want

My hands soiled in muddy water,

Fingers made dingy by gravelly pools

That were clear and clean raindrops, only moments before.

I want to be able

To leap over

The puddles and the messy places

And come out of the other side of adventure

Clean

Maybe even sparkly.

But that cannot be.

Brave women who choose to stay

Are never saved from dirty work

By a knight

Who, flying his cape like a flag in the wind,

Drapes his precious garment over the

Puddles that messy our hems and dampen our glass slippers.

Like Mary Magdalene

Beside blood, sweat, tears, and dirt

We choose to stay,

Witnessing the death of how we thought it would be,

And wait

For Resurrection.

Two Words that Tear Down Our Kids (That Aren’t Even True)

April 3, 2019 By Juleeta 6 Comments

Thanks to Alexis Brown on Unsplash for capturing happy teenagers.

Recently, I met with young women, ranging in ages from 11-18. More insightful than anything I shared with them about the steady growth of negative body image in today’s culture were the responses they shared with me. Specifically, their response to one question keeps coming to mind.

In two different breakout sessions, I asked, “What words have you heard that negatively describe a girl’s body?” and these were the first two responses. In both groups.

Fat.

Ugly.

In that order.

Now, those answers didn’t come immediately after I asked the question. In fact, I waited a long quiet minute before anyone spoke up. In both sessions, the group of chatty girls were initially silent after hearing the question. No one wanted to speak the words that they had either said about someone else or had heard about themselves.

And these two words, spoken aloud, fat and ugly, opened the floodgates of discussion concerning negative body image talk. How hurtful it is. How deceiving it is. How destructive it can be, if believed.

If our young people wake up in the morning thinking they are fat or ugly, if they go to the restroom and see fat or ugly as they glance at the mirror before walking out the door, if they believe they are fat or ugly as they brace themselves to stand in the ever-changing opinions of their peers, if they believe they are fat or ugly as they return home and sink into their beds for some much needed reprieve, then they live overwhelmed by lies.

From the moment they wake up until they close the day with some shut eye, our precious young people need to hear the truth from us. The twinkle in their eyes and the smiles on their faces are beautiful. The growing statures of their bodies are strong and can serve in life-changing ways. These growing people need to hear that their bodies are good. [Read more…] about Two Words that Tear Down Our Kids (That Aren’t Even True)

This is How Women Advocate for Healthy Body Image

March 1, 2019 By Juleeta Leave a Comment

Advocating for each other, we advocate for a healthier female body. Photo credit: Thanks to the very talented, Omar Lopez.

Why We Need an Advocate

According to the National Eating Disorders Association, “by age 6 girls especially start to express concerns about their own weight or shape, and 40-60% of elementary girls (ages 6-12) are concerned about their weight or about becoming too fat” (Smolak, 2011). While all genders, ages, and cultures are at risk for body image issues, young women today are struggling quietly. Girls do not want to bother their friends or their parents with questions about their changing bodies (much like their mommas don’t want to bother their friends with their own body image concerns).

We need to empower each other to speak up. If we, as adult women who serve as aunts, mothers, sisters, friends, and daughters, continue to hide our body image concerns, how will our young women learn to speak up? How will anyone know that we need help if we remain silent?

If we empower the next generation to speak, then we will know better how to help them. We will know how to advocate for them. When questions of value and identity mount, one thing is true for all of us. Every girl, young or old, needs an advocate.

When reflecting on some of the most courageous and dynamic advocates in history, I can’t help but remember the first powerful female literary character I encountered in college. Paulina is one of Shakespeare’s finest women, and one of her most famous lines in The Winter’s Tale commands even the most Shakespeare-weary audience member to perk up and listen.

In a passionate moment, Paulina commands the stage and advocates for her spurned queen: “It is a heretic that makes the fire, not she which burns in it” (2.3. 115-116).

In one of his final plays, The Winter’s Tale, Shakespeare introduces us to Leontes – a passionate, angsty, and jealous king who is convinced that his wife, the gorgeous, pure-hearted, and compassionate Queen Hermione, has been unfaithful in their marriage (Sound kind of like, Othello, right?). King Leontes spends the first half of the play making a full-hearted fool of himself and eventually banishes his wife for her alleged unfaithfulness. His madness overtakes his reason.

In this kingdom ruled by men, Queen Hermione has one advocate – Paulina. She is force and a storm. She speaks honestly and courageously for her queen, and she puts her life at risk to advocate for good. When Paulina calls Leontes to the mat and straight-faced calls him out for being “unworthy and unnatural,” all he can respond with is a childish threat. “I’ll ha’ thee burnt,” King Leontes bullies.

And this is where Paulina shines. She keeps her composure, raises herself even taller, and fearlessly looks him in the eye. She responds masterfully.

“I care not.

It is a heretic that makes the fire,

Not she which burns in it” (2.3. 115-116).

Paulina speaks up. She stands by the Queen’s side, acknowledges what she is suffering at the hands of her lunatic husband, and she remains determined to help in any way that she can.

This is what we need, Ladies. This is what our daughters need. [Read more…] about This is How Women Advocate for Healthy Body Image