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Juleeta C. Harvey

Empowering Women to Believe Body Truth

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Grateful Moments

Why Christians Don’t Need To Worry About Elsa’s Sexuality: There Are Bigger Questions Here

November 17, 2019 By Juleeta 2 Comments

Waiting for movie trailers, I took this photo at a Dallas-area preview on Friday. If splendor and enchantment make you smile, you’ll enjoy Disney’s Frozen II.

Is Elsa gay?

This seems to be a hot topic of conversation amongst movie goers, especially Christians, as we await the release of Frozen 2, opening in theaters this Friday.

As a believer, this question makes me shudder. Not because of what it’s asking. But because of what it’s not asking.

You see, I was able to see the movie last week because a friend of mine works in the press. She is a fellow believer and English major, so we were in good company as we watched the plot unfold. From the first lines of the opening scene, we both felt that this was a different kind of movie than Disney’s original Frozen, released six years ago. And it wasn’t different in any of the ways I’ve heard people speculate, especially as the movie portrays sexuality.

For Christians who are planning to see Frozen 2, I hope you thoroughly enjoy it – the gorgeous animation, the hilarious laugh-out-loud scenes, and the characters that invite us to reflect on our own relationship with love, fear, and the power of redemption.

Moreover, I hope that you take the opportunity to ask your kids, your spouse, and your community the kinds of questions that focus on how we love like Jesus [Read more…] about Why Christians Don’t Need To Worry About Elsa’s Sexuality: There Are Bigger Questions Here

Filed Under: Grateful Moments, Moms and Daughters, The World Out There

Resurrection

April 19, 2019 By Juleeta Leave a Comment

Notre Dame in glorious sunlight, before the fire — Thank you, Stephanie LeBlanc, for capturing this image that breathes life and resurrection.

I do not want

My hands soiled in muddy water,

Fingers made dingy by gravelly pools

That were clear and clean raindrops, only moments before.

 

I want to be able

To leap over

The puddles and the messy places

And come out of the other side of adventure

Clean

Maybe even sparkly.

 

But that cannot be.

Brave women who choose to stay

Are never saved from dirty work

By a knight

Who, flying his cape like a flag in the wind,

Drapes his precious garment over the

Puddles that messy our hems and dampen our glass slippers.

 

Like Mary Magdalene

Beside blood, sweat, tears, and dirt

We choose to stay,

Witnessing the death of how we thought it would be,

And wait

For Resurrection.

 

Filed Under: Grateful Moments

#2 of 5 People We Need in Our Corner: A Friend (Who is Altogether Different Than Us)

February 14, 2019 By Juleeta Leave a Comment

We are not lovers
because of the love
we make
but the love
we have

We are not friends
because of the laughs
we spend
but the tears
we save


I don’t want to be near you
for the thoughts we share
but the words we never have
to speak


I will never miss you
because of what we do
but what we are
together

A Poem of Friendship, by Nikki Giovanni

Poet and activist, Nikki Giovanni, reminds me that friendship makes me a better person.  A good friend listens to my heartbreaks and knows the intent of my words when I fumble over the “dumb thing” I said five minutes ago. Some of my closest friends are not always happy with me, and sometimes we disappoint each other, but so goes any relationship that adds value to my life.  Conflict is inevitable, but with friendship, hope patiently waits on the other side.

Friendship is so vital to our human development that even Jesus, who was perfect in every way, chose to seek out friendships.  In the week leading up to his death, Jesus admonished his friends to love one another as He loved them.  He valued his friends so dearly that He chose to die for them.  “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).

When choosing friends, Jesus did not reach out to individuals who were like him.  The people he invited into his inner circle, the disciples, were a collection of sinners, of whom the Jewish elite disapproved. They were fisherman, a tax collector, and some, we don’t even know their occupations. But we know they were not like Jesus.  They may have looked similar in stature, but they did not think like him, speak eloquently like him, or love anywhere near as generously as he did. 

And many others he befriended in the New Testament, those he reached out to serve and comfort and heal, they were in no way like him.  The women, for example, were completely different in physical stature and cultural situation.  Consider the Canaanite woman that prays for her daughter’s healing in Matthew 15, the Syrophoenician woman whose daughter is possessed by a demon in Mark 7, the poverty-stricken widow in Mark 12, the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4, and the woman, described in John 8, who was drug into town for stoning, her consequence for being accused of adultery.

Jesus spent his life seeking out people different than him.   Widely known as “the friend of sinners,” Jesus chose to befriend people altogether different than him.

And although I am far from maintaining that we have Jesus’ capacity to serve and love and die for the sake of our friendships, I am challenged to consider:  How many friends do I have that look and act and understand life differently than me, in almost every way?

Presently, that number amounts to 1.  We will call my friend Bee.

She is a 21 year old, African young woman — curvy, tall, and gorgeous. In her Instagram post, you’ll see her swaying her hip left, posed in a leopard print mini-dress and her smile beams, wide and proud.  My latest post shows me in tortoise shell glasses and a red cardigan. My smile exists, but maybe doesn’t beam 🙂

She is from Rwanda, and she is currently raising her three younger siblings completely on her own, working 70+ hours a week to support their family. Me? I am a native Texan, raising the Fantastic Five with the help of my God-fearing, extremely fun, and hard-working husband. I am a stay at home mom. Writing a blog.

She sees the world completely different than I do.  She throws in veggies and fruit for meals when she can, but Takis and soda are some of their kitchen mainstays.  She’s not shopping at Whole Foods, assessing “her kids” healthy choices, or comparing them to the other kids at school. 

I love that we are living different lives, in almost every way.  As a result of living differently and simultaneously choosing friendship, we are growing as women in our communities in ways that we could not grow without each other.

Most of my close friends look like me, are well educated, have disposable income, go to church, and are married to loyal and capable men. They are dear to me, but they are so much like me that I sometimes forget the bigger world out there that is the majority.  Most women, living their own stories in the day-to-day, are different than me in almost every way.

And when I operate in my small world for too long, Satan gets a foothold. His voice too closely scrutinizes the details of my reflection, and I compare myself to the aging women around me who have had more surgery, who have more money, who have more time and propensity for shopping, and who spend more time toning their glamorous figures at the gym. Surrounding myself with good friends is good for me, but all of my friends shouldn’t “look like me.”

Thomas Cash, PH.D., maintains that an individual’s private body talk significantly affects one’s mental health.  Specifically, in The Body Image Workbook, he points out a commonly held belief that too many people mistakenly assume.  It is: If I Could Look Just as I Wish, My Life Would Be Much Happier.

This assumption is especially prevalent in the private conversations that women are struggling with today. But what if part of our challenge is to look in the mirror and not only see ourselves, but the generations of women who went before us to bring us to the place we find ourselves standing?  What if we choose to see ourselves in a context of the woman working behind the Target checkout counter and the female refugee who is learning English for the first time and the woman who always sits a pew over but doesn’t look anything at all like us?

“What we are together,” the last lines of Ms. Giovanni’s poem, challenges me to see my reflection differently when I look in the mirror and envision my young Rwandan friend beside me.  We look and act and believe differently than one another, but “what we are together” is more than what we would be without each other.

When I step outside of my safe places and make friends with people altogether different than me, might I experience the generous, dear, friendly love of Jesus in a new and different way?  I’m thinking, yes.

Because my mindset changes.  And my worldview grows. And my capacity for love goes out, beyond myself.

 

We’re starting our Recovery study about Body Image tonight at Northwest Bible Church.  If you’re in the area, join us at 7:30 on Thursdays for our open group.  

 

Filed Under: Control, Grateful Moments, Healthy Bodies, The World Out There

When Jesus Says, “Arise!” How Will We Respond?

January 30, 2019 By Juleeta Leave a Comment

This image, captured by Casey Horner, points to a personal lesson I’m learning. Light has the power to penetrate the darkest places, if I choose to open my eyes to see.

I did not know I was asleep.

Four days before our wedding, I moved to a new place. I drove my gold ’96 Saturn northbound on I-35, from Austin to Dallas.  My car was packed tight and high with boxes, and behind me, my parents’ truck hauled the rest of my belongings. 

And for most of the three hour drive, my insides felt like a witch’s bubbly concoction, brewing and unsettled. My excitement about moving somewhere new brought a smile to my face until the cackling sound of Fear reminded me I wasn’t moving somewhere dreamy like London or Madrid.  You, my pretty, are moving to Dallas. Ha, Ha, Ha!  

My excitement about finding a new job would last a few minutes until Fear plopped into the black cauldron of my swirling emotions.  Fear threatened, The only job left for you will be teaching English to a room full of hormone-driven, entitled middle schoolers. Ha, Ha, Ha!

Excitement and fear swirled together down deep in the pit of my stomach, and the condition of my heart was murky, at best.   

But at least I was going to get married.   

The first few years of marriage were tougher than I could have imagined.  I scrambled to get home early in the afternoons in time to cook dinner, often overreacting if my husband was running a few minutes late. In my spare hours, I attended graduate school at night and trained for triathlons. In Dave’s spare time, he watched ESPN. We had more than a few arguments about how low the television volume really needed to be so that I could still study and he could still watch football. Or basketball. Or hockey.  We disagreed on almost every financial decision — the grocery budget, the clothing budget, the eating-out budget.

Keeping my nose to the grindstone, my head down and focused on the next task ahead, I stayed busy.  Busy was my distractor.  If I could stay busy, I could close my eyes, refusing to see the girl in the mirror who was growing more lonely and confused in her role as wife.  I look back and see her standing quietly in front of the flimsy, full length mirror clipped to the top of the doorframe. She stares ahead, confused and hurt, wondering, Why don’t I feel like I’m enough?  I have everything I want. [Read more…] about When Jesus Says, “Arise!” How Will We Respond?

Filed Under: Eating Disorders, Grateful Moments, Moms and Daughters, The World Out There

Enneagram New Year’s Resolution – A Healthy Approach

December 24, 2018 By Juleeta 1 Comment

I am incredibly thankful to Leslie, Amy, Angela, Keri, Tina, Adrianne, Ashley, and Sue for sharing how the Enneagram helps them approach 2019.

This summer, a few girls from the book club suggested we read Ian Cron’s The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery.  I wouldn’t say it was a gentle suggestion or even a nudge; it was more like a proclamation that it needed to happen.  The reading of this book was imperative to our learning more about ourselves and each other.  So the rest of us agreed. 

I was reluctant. Having recently completed my second round of Recovery, I felt like a needed a break from any more self-reflection.  The thought of getting to know myself anymore intimately was exhausting.  What I didn’t realize was this.  After walking through the Twelve Steps of Recovery for Life, the next best action to take toward understanding the way I was made in God’s image was doing just this.  Reading the book. Studying the Enneagram.  And laughing in a circle of trusted [Read more…] about Enneagram New Year’s Resolution – A Healthy Approach

Filed Under: Grateful Moments, Healthy Bodies, The World Out There

What I Want for My Child’s Mother — Looking Ahead to 2019 —

December 22, 2018 By Juleeta 1 Comment

My son’s mother inspires my thoughts for the new year and my conviction that God-fearing women can declare truth and change what women believe. Anyone recognize the truth-telling mirror at Resident Taqueria?

My youngest son turned four years old last Friday. We adopted him through foster care. He is stunningly handsome, curly wisps of brown hair spiral behind his ears just after a fresh haircut. His caramel coloring is luscious, just a few shades darker than his four brothers’ slightly paler skin.

You can ask me almost anything about him. Is he smart? Does he love his brothers like they are his own? Did he have any problems bonding with your family? Is he, well, you know, normal?

And I will willingly answer all of those questions. My husband answers even more enthusiastically than I do. When asked about our youngest, his daddy exuberates pride like Superman beams fiery optic blasts to remind the world that justice is at hand.

But I cannot answer questions about his biological mother. Please don’t ask me about her. She is precious and beautiful and probably wrecked by the decisions she has made. Her years are too close to mine for me to distance her as “too young to get pregnant” or “too immature to know what she was doing.” I have seen her pictures and know her story. At least as much of her story as a notebook log of CPS investigations was willing to hand over on his adoption ceremony day.

But you know what? It doesn’t really matter if my son came to us through the state system or if he came from Africa or through a Romanian orphanage that barely held itself together through war-torn, barely pieced together 21st-century political strife.  

What does matter is that his mother carried him in her womb. She held him as close to her body as her steady heartbeat when nothing else was steady in her life. It matters that she chose to keep him.

She made a decision, for at least the length of 240 days, to keep his delicate, developing body in her womb. It matters that she sacrificed her physical comfort and potential opportunities to keep him until the Lord willed his living body be born into the Earth.

So you can understand why I cannot tell you her story. 

Her story is hers to tell, and her son’s story to share, if he feels so compelled and strong one day to elaborate. Theirs is a linked history that I am not privy to divulge. It is my son’s privilege to be a part of a narrative that is devastated by trauma and simultaneously blessed by redemption.  Blessed by redemption because my husband and I, his adoptive family, choose to teach him about the all-embracing, grace-filled love of Jesus.  By God’s mercy, we choose Jesus as the only Way, the only Truth, the only Life. Every waking moment.

As I look back on 2018, on the #metoo movement, on the Aly Raisman testimony, on the Kavanaugh-Ford hearings, I can’t help but remember exactly why I started writing on female body image, here. I was moved by my own experience, sure. My own very sad choice to starve my girl-body in search of happiness, not even knowing exactly that joy was possible.

But the real reason I started writing here, and did so with continued passion in 2018, was because of what I want for her — his mother.  

His mothers. Her and Myself. Both of us.

I started writing about how God’s truth impacts how we live in and love our female bodies because WE needed to know the Truth. Her. Me. And You.

I want mothers to know how abundantly God treasures and generously loves the female body. We must hold fast to the truth. No matter how “awfully” we sin in the bodies we’ve been given, the gift of redemption is offered to all of us.  And believe it is possible by choosing Jesus Christ.

“For God so loved the [whole, entire] world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” -John 3:16

This truth holds high a light for all of us, flaming a desire for change. As we look to the year ahead, Christian women, we are called to invite all women into community for the sake of God’s generous love.  Better yet, might we be moved by the Holy Spirit to embrace the prostitute, the lonely, the diseased, the addicted, even the persecuted? 

This invitation is a change from what most of us feel comfortable speaking about in Bible study huddles. It pricks the palms of our hands, where we imagine our souls. This invitation heats some of our necks and faces.  We become nervous and angsty.

Becoming more intimate with women who live “differently” than us is risky. It is not safe, but it is what Jesus came for.

It is who Jesus came for. For all girls. For all women.

For all mothers — no matter our story.

Join me in 2019 as we begin the new year exploring practical ways to help girls and women generously love their God-given bodies. 

Filed Under: Grateful Moments, Healthy Bodies, The World Out There

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