Juleeta C. Harvey

Empowering Women to Believe Body Truth

Moms and Daughters

Why Christians Don’t Need To Worry About Elsa’s Sexuality: There Are Bigger Questions Here

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Waiting for movie trailers, I took this photo at a Dallas-area preview on Friday. If splendor and enchantment make you smile, you’ll enjoy Disney’s Frozen II.

Is Elsa gay?

This seems to be a hot topic of conversation amongst movie goers, especially Christians, as we await the release of Frozen 2, opening in theaters this Friday.

As a believer, this question makes me shudder. Not because of what it’s asking. But because of what it’s not asking.

You see, I was able to see the movie last week because a friend of mine works in the press. She is a fellow believer and English major, so we were in good company as we watched the plot unfold. From the first lines of the opening scene, we both felt that this was a different kind of movie than Disney’s original Frozen, released six years ago. And it wasn’t different in any of the ways I’ve heard people speculate, especially as the movie portrays sexuality.

For Christians who are planning to see Frozen 2, I hope you thoroughly enjoy it – the gorgeous animation, the hilarious laugh-out-loud scenes, and the characters that invite us to reflect on our own relationship with love, fear, and the power of redemption.

Moreover, I hope that you take the opportunity to ask your kids, your spouse, and your community the kinds of questions that focus on how we love like Jesus [Read more…] about Why Christians Don’t Need To Worry About Elsa’s Sexuality: There Are Bigger Questions Here

Great Body Image Books for Girls

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Thank you, Suad Kamardeen, for this picture of a girl touching the books before she pulls one off the shelf. She shops for books like me. 

According to the National Eating Disorders Association, body image concerns often begin at a young age. “By age 6, girls especially start to express concerns about their own weight or shape, and 40-60% of elementary school girls (ages 6-12) are concerned about their weight or about becoming too fat. (Smolak, 2011). Furthermore, over one-half of teenage girls and nearly one-third of teenage boys use unhealthy weight control behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, smoking cigarettes, vomiting, and taking laxatives (Neumark- Sztainer, 2005).”

These are the facts we are up against. Girls are more at risk than boys for eating disorders.  The number of girls suffering from negative body image is on the rise.  And these rising numbers reveal that our young women need help understanding that they are valuable and dear to us.

But how can we get our young women to understand how we see them?  What can we do to guide them into believing they are beautiful and lovely and breathtaking because God made them that way?

In my own journey toward establishing healthy body image, I have found encouragement from reading good books that promote body positivity. I think this might encourage our daughters, nieces, goddaughters, and granddaughters, too. 

My friend, Stephanie, recommended these books and I think they make great reads for girls between 8-12 years old.  I’ve been pouring through them this last week. They are well-written books and convey what we hope our daughters believe about themselves.  And, not surprisingly, as I read a few out loud, I found myself reminded of a few truths I needed to hear for myself. Enjoy!

Pretty, by Dani Coplen, takes a turn on the word, Pretty. Throughout, Coplen threads a sweet, encouraging message for young women today.

Writer Dani Coplen and Spanish artist Natalia De Frutos nailed it with Pretty!  Bright, saturated images paired with genuine encouragement will speak directly to your daughter’s heart.  This book will challenge her (and maybe you) to see “pretty” in a whole new way. This picture book is a gift, and it should find a place on your bookshelf.

Mother, OB-GYN, and best-selling author Christiane Northrup creatively introduces new ways for us to consider and speak about the female body. Her fresh take benefits girls of all ages.

I love the very first page….

“Hello, beautiful girl.

Do you know how lucky you are?

Why? Because you were born a girl!

And as a girl, you have been given special gifts

that will bloom as you do.”

Written by Christiane Northrup, M.D., Beautiful Girl explores the responsibilities, changes, and gifts that come from being a girl.  Her message gently guides young women toward body kindness. I especially appreciate how she closes the book, uniting daughters and mothers and sisters and girlfriends for the sake of strength and love.

This book was a pleasant surprise! The team at educateempowerkids.org has put together a relatable message, one that most girls (and their mommas) will certainly connect with.

The more I read about Sydney’s thoughts, the more I thought: Am I Sydney?

Let’s face it.  Women, younger and older, are inundated with messaging that tempts us to believe all kinds of ridiculous things. We might even find that we are giving up who we are in exchange for being accepted by the cool girls.  Messages About Me challenges cultural norms, and for that reason, it is worth the read.

 

For this book, Dannah Gresh teamed up with Nancy Demoss Wolgemuth, editor of the bestseller Lies We Believe. It reads easily and challenges young women to identify what lies they are believing that they many not even be aware of.

When we choose to identify lies and replace them with the truth, we can choose to change the way we think.  Lies Girls Believe is an approachable book that invites young women to see themselves in light of God’s love for them.  Relationships with parents, friends, teachers, and even siblings are addressed, which makes this book a helpful tool for any young woman who wants to believe she is more than what the world tells her.

In future weeks, I’ll be reviewing book for older girls, specifically teens. Any feedback you have on these?  I’d love to hear it here.  I hope you (and your favorite girl) enjoy these summer reads.

 

 

 

This is How Women Advocate for Healthy Body Image

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Advocating for each other, we advocate for a healthier female body. Photo credit: Thanks to the very talented, Omar Lopez.

Why We Need an Advocate

According to the National Eating Disorders Association, “by age 6 girls especially start to express concerns about their own weight or shape, and 40-60% of elementary girls (ages 6-12) are concerned about their weight or about becoming too fat” (Smolak, 2011). While all genders, ages, and cultures are at risk for body image issues, young women today are struggling quietly. Girls do not want to bother their friends or their parents with questions about their changing bodies (much like their mommas don’t want to bother their friends with their own body image concerns).

We need to empower each other to speak up. If we, as adult women who serve as aunts, mothers, sisters, friends, and daughters, continue to hide our body image concerns, how will our young women learn to speak up? How will anyone know that we need help if we remain silent?

If we empower the next generation to speak, then we will know better how to help them. We will know how to advocate for them. When questions of value and identity mount, one thing is true for all of us. Every girl, young or old, needs an advocate.

When reflecting on some of the most courageous and dynamic advocates in history, I can’t help but remember the first powerful female literary character I encountered in college. Paulina is one of Shakespeare’s finest women, and one of her most famous lines in The Winter’s Tale commands even the most Shakespeare-weary audience member to perk up and listen.

In a passionate moment, Paulina commands the stage and advocates for her spurned queen: “It is a heretic that makes the fire, not she which burns in it” (2.3. 115-116).

Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash

In one of his final plays, The Winter’s Tale, Shakespeare introduces us to Leontes – a passionate, angsty, and jealous king who is convinced that his wife, the gorgeous, pure-hearted, and compassionate Queen Hermione, has been unfaithful in their marriage (Sound kind of like, Othello, right?). King Leontes spends the first half of the play making a full-hearted fool of himself and eventually banishes his wife for her alleged unfaithfulness. His madness overtakes his reason.

In this kingdom ruled by men, Queen Hermione has one advocate – Paulina. She is force and a storm. She speaks honestly and courageously for her queen, and she puts her life at risk to advocate for good. When Paulina calls Leontes to the mat and straight-faced calls him out for being “unworthy and unnatural,” all he can respond with is a childish threat. “I’ll ha’ thee burnt,” King Leontes bullies.

And this is where Paulina shines. She keeps her composure, raises herself even taller, and fearlessly looks him in the eye. She responds masterfully.

“I care not.

It is a heretic that makes the fire,

Not she which burns in it” (2.3. 115-116).

Paulina speaks up. She stands by the Queen’s side, acknowledges what she is suffering at the hands of her lunatic husband, and she remains determined to help in any way that she can.

This is what we need, Ladies. This is what our daughters need. [Read more…] about This is How Women Advocate for Healthy Body Image

#1 of 5 People We Need in Our Corner – A Good Physician

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Thankful to rawpixel.com for this image.

The world is desperate for healers.  Not the kinds of people who wave their arms around a stranger’s cancer-ridden body and shout prayers for a miracle, pointing to you on the other side of the television screen. Those kinds of healers are scary.

The world is desperate for healers of a different kind.  For the kinds of people who welcome our fragile bodies into their waiting rooms, closely examine our physical weaknesses and listen to our nervous-to-utter questions.  

For the kinds of people who make us feel at ease when we are sick and when our people are sick.  They ask thoughtful questions. They are thorough when they offer suggestions and prescriptions. 

If you have a good physician in your corner, you know what I mean.

Your good physician most likely resembles Luke of Antioch, the author of the third gospel in the New Testament.  In the introduction to Luke, my ESV Hebrew-Greek Key Word Study Bible points out that Luke was widely known as “the beloved physician” (Col. 4:14).  He was known for his medical expertise, but what made him beloved was: [Read more…] about #1 of 5 People We Need in Our Corner – A Good Physician

When Jesus Says, “Arise!” How Will We Respond?

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This image, captured by Casey Horner, points to a personal lesson I’m learning. Light has the power to penetrate the darkest places, if I choose to open my eyes to see.

I did not know I was asleep.

Four days before our wedding, I moved to a new place. I drove my gold ’96 Saturn northbound on I-35, from Austin to Dallas.  My car was packed tight and high with boxes, and behind me, my parents’ truck hauled the rest of my belongings. 

And for most of the three hour drive, my insides felt like a witch’s bubbly concoction, brewing and unsettled. My excitement about moving somewhere new brought a smile to my face until the cackling sound of Fear reminded me I wasn’t moving somewhere dreamy like London or Madrid.  You, my pretty, are moving to Dallas. Ha, Ha, Ha!  

My excitement about finding a new job would last a few minutes until Fear plopped into the black cauldron of my swirling emotions.  Fear threatened, The only job left for you will be teaching English to a room full of hormone-driven, entitled middle schoolers. Ha, Ha, Ha!

Excitement and fear swirled together down deep in the pit of my stomach, and the condition of my heart was murky, at best.   

But at least I was going to get married.   

The first few years of marriage were tougher than I could have imagined.  I scrambled to get home early in the afternoons in time to cook dinner, often overreacting if my husband was running a few minutes late. In my spare hours, I attended graduate school at night and trained for triathlons. In Dave’s spare time, he watched ESPN. We had more than a few arguments about how low the television volume really needed to be so that I could still study and he could still watch football. Or basketball. Or hockey.  We disagreed on almost every financial decision — the grocery budget, the clothing budget, the eating-out budget.

Keeping my nose to the grindstone, my head down and focused on the next task ahead, I stayed busy.  Busy was my distractor.  If I could stay busy, I could close my eyes, refusing to see the girl in the mirror who was growing more lonely and confused in her role as wife.  I look back and see her standing quietly in front of the flimsy, full length mirror clipped to the top of the doorframe. She stares ahead, confused and hurt, wondering, Why don’t I feel like I’m enough?  I have everything I want. [Read more…] about When Jesus Says, “Arise!” How Will We Respond?

The One Gift Every Woman Desires This Season

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Food Photographer, Jennifer Pallian, invites us to enjoy the chocolatey-sweet taste of Christmas. I love her work @foodess.

With the holidays here, sometimes I don’t generously love this body God has gifted me.  As hearty snacks roll straight into lavish meals, shared around sparkly, festive tables,  I have to keep myself in check.  I am challenged to let go of the holiday habit of shaming my body.  Rather, I am challenged to enjoy the feasting that pairs deliciously with December.

And when I do struggle, because I will, I remind myself that I am not alone. Many women struggle with the shame that comes with “too much eating and not enough exercising.”

As we drove down the last stretch of wheat-laced fields on Hwy 123 to Seguin last weekend, the radio DJ stated that she wished she “could scrape away the calories from her plate,” getting rid of the guilt that ensues with consuming too much pie at Thanksgiving.  As I clicked through the internet last week, I viewed online diet-based programs giving their readers PERMISSION to partake in their family holiday meal.  After all, it’s just “one day of cheating.”

Why do so many voices infer that enjoying the holiday meal we share with family and friends is somehow like bad behavior?

The voices that speak body shame can be gently silenced and replaced with a sweet gift.  This gift has been passed down to some of us from loving, tender people who speak wisdom from the heart of God. But for some of us, this sweet gift is new.  We have recently discovered it and are timid to open it, but we anticipate how it might bring us to hope. [Read more…] about The One Gift Every Woman Desires This Season