Juleeta C. Harvey

Empowering Women to Believe Body Truth

Moms and Daughters

The One Gift Every Woman Desires This Season

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Food Photographer, Jennifer Pallian, invites us to enjoy the chocolatey-sweet taste of Christmas. I love her work @foodess.

With the holidays here, sometimes I don’t generously love this body God has gifted me.  As hearty snacks roll straight into lavish meals, shared around sparkly, festive tables,  I have to keep myself in check.  I am challenged to let go of the holiday habit of shaming my body.  Rather, I am challenged to enjoy the feasting that pairs deliciously with December.

And when I do struggle, because I will, I remind myself that I am not alone. Many women struggle with the shame that comes with “too much eating and not enough exercising.”

As we drove down the last stretch of wheat-laced fields on Hwy 123 to Seguin last weekend, the radio DJ stated that she wished she “could scrape away the calories from her plate,” getting rid of the guilt that ensues with consuming too much pie at Thanksgiving.  As I clicked through the internet last week, I viewed online diet-based programs giving their readers PERMISSION to partake in their family holiday meal.  After all, it’s just “one day of cheating.”

Why do so many voices infer that enjoying the holiday meal we share with family and friends is somehow like bad behavior?

The voices that speak body shame can be gently silenced and replaced with a sweet gift.  This gift has been passed down to some of us from loving, tender people who speak wisdom from the heart of God. But for some of us, this sweet gift is new.  We have recently discovered it and are timid to open it, but we anticipate how it might bring us to hope. [Read more…] about The One Gift Every Woman Desires This Season

What Does Plastic Surgery Mean for Women?

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Piercing Image by Photographer @anikolleshi on Unsplash

Clear as glass.  Raising my recently rinsed wine glass to the light, I can see all the way through, and the clarity invites me to marvel.

That’s how I remember Miranda’s declaration, fourteen years ago.  Clear as light-trimmed glass.

“My husband and I have agreed that when I’m done having babies, I can at least get a lift, if not a full blown boob job,” Miranda announced casually in the middle of our breastfeeding conversation.

If I didn’t have photos to remind me of Luke’s first chubby-faced giggle, I might not even remember it. It the same for his pulling away from the couch to take his first wobbly steps, which looked like dangerous tightrope walking as he lunged forward, one pink, fleshy foot in front of the other. Photographs call to mind all of the important firsts that I know that I saw.  But the memory, without any pictures, is a tricky thing — sometimes hazy and unreliable.

But I remember, very clearly, Miranda’s admittance at our toddler playgroup that morning.  I didn’t snap a photo of her saying it or journal my surprised response, but I can still hear her voice the words.  At any moment, I can press Play on the button that resides in the recesses of my amygdala, where the processing of emotions begins its journey.

Luke was barely three months old, just sleeping more than six hours.  I was suffering from a lack of sleep and a lack of purpose.  I had recently left my teaching job, decided against pursuing further graduate study, and had found myself enslaved to the never-ending nap and nursing schedule of a newborn.

What in the heck are we doing? 

 My child is perfect, so why am I feeling torn about motherhood?

That morning, in an attempt to not lose my everlovin’ mind*, I packed my diaper bag for the next world war and drove to a new mom’s neighborhood playgroup. [Read more…] about What Does Plastic Surgery Mean for Women?

Loving Lovely : Body Shame, No More

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Let’s talk. Body Shame No More in the #Sisterhood.  Photo by Brandi Ibrao on Unsplash

How do we Love Lovely? 

Lovely is the daughter that looks up into your eyes and asks you quizzically, “Why did that little girl call me fat, Mommy?  Am I really fat?”

Lovely is the friend who subtly nudges you at dinner and asks, “Hey, can we talk for a few minutes after dinner?  I’m feeling weak, losing weight, and I’m kind of scared about what is happening to my body.  I heard Jody telling another mom that she thinks I’m anorexic.”

Lovely is the young woman in your workplace who, obviously, has had plastic surgery, and she keeps to herself.  You’ve considered asking her to join you for lunch, but there’s this voice whispering in your head, “Is she fake?” and so you leave it alone.

You leave her alone. We leave her alone.

We don’t really mean to leave her alone.  We want to Love Lovely. But we struggle. [Read more…] about Loving Lovely : Body Shame, No More

Why Every Mom Needs to Hear Dr. Christine Ford’s Testimony on Thursday

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As you know, the Supreme Court is abuzz about character this week. Photo by Claire Anderson on Unsplash

I remember that night, and my insides tremble.

It was twenty-six years ago, about this time of year.  Cool breeze brushed against my skin as my best friend and I walked down the street, to a friend’s party just around the corner.  Anticipation jogged my heartbeat faster because I knew he would be there.  It was that guy — the one who flirted with me in Spanish class, the one who threatened guys in the hallway that I stared at a little too long.  He was handsome, funny, forward, and like no one I had ever known.  My fifteen year-old self was taken with him for all the wrong reasons, but taken nonetheless.

We walked through the front door of the “party-house,” my friend and I, and we were greeted Cheers-style by a room full of familiar faces and Hellos.   The soiree had been partying for hours already.  Music blared, hip-hopping from the stereo’s speakers.  A faint hint of cigarette smoke from the patio had made its way inside the living room. Crushed Bud Light cans littered the trash can almost to the brim.  Lively conversation filled the house, and everyone had a drink in their hand.

The only other thing I remember happening that night was the upstairs part. The part where he asked if he could speak to me, alone, away from all the noise. It was something really important. [Read more…] about Why Every Mom Needs to Hear Dr. Christine Ford’s Testimony on Thursday

Symptoms, Early Intervention, and Treatment: Licensed Dietician, Kristin Williams, Speaks Up

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How stunning is this mother-daughter pair as walk the length of the dock together? Even with deep waters ahead, we join together in faith, trusting He desires us to seek healing where there is hurt.

Readers and Friends,

After a bit of a hiatus, I bring you a gem — an interview with eating disorder specialist and licensed dietician, Kristin Williams, RDN. In her very gentle approach, Kristin shares with us a wealth of information concerning Symptoms, Early Intervention, and Treatment of Eating Disorders. Conversations about mental illnesses are at an all-time high, and patients meeting criteria on the DSM 5 for such illnesses as Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, Binge Eating Disorder, and Orthorexia need help! I sincerely hope this interview guides us into more fact based conversations that equip women to see themselves as God ‘s beautiful children – valuable, powerful, and completely lovely.

Juleeta: Hi, Kristin. Thank you for taking time to meet with me today. Readers, Kristin just gave a birth to a beautiful baby boy, Kipton, just over two months ago! Besides being a mom, she is also a licensed dietician who works part-time in her own practice and part-time in a local eating disorder treatment facility. Kristin, thanks for finding time to meet here.

Kristin Williams: Of course. I’m honored to answer some of the questions your readers have about body image and disordered eating. Ask me anything, and I’ll answer as best I can.

J: So, here it goes. My first question is about how it looks when parents approach you if they are concerned about eating disorders in their children. For example, when parents are concerned about the weight of their child, what steps do you take in guiding them?

KW: When parents approach me with weight concerns about their child, I first offer them a listening ear and validate their concerns. A lot of parents of children with eating disorders are overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and shame, believing that they have somehow caused the problem. [Read more…] about Symptoms, Early Intervention, and Treatment: Licensed Dietician, Kristin Williams, Speaks Up

What Do We Tell the Next Generation?

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Palm branches and truth celebrate Easter. I LOVE the images from this photographer, @anniespratt .

What do we tell the next generation?

Psalm 78:4 guides us gently into the right answer.

“We will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, the wonders he has done.”

In these last few months, I am listening more than I ever have.

New stories have humbled and challenged me.  Some stories are from teenage girls, others are spoken from the voices of exhausted young mothers, and even more are emerging from women, single and married, who are carrying heavy work hours and serving in their communities.  I have made new friends with women I would have never known, and their stories are the jewels that sparkle Hope in this season of writing and sharing. [Read more…] about What Do We Tell the Next Generation?