Juleeta C. Harvey

Empowering Women to Believe Body Truth

The World Out There

Organizing Beautiful Things — A Gift Idea for the Practical Mom

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The simple, bow-tied pink ribbon begs for this gift to be opened. Credit to Jess Watters at designedbyjess.com.

My husband washing the dishes, scrubbing shiny the whole pile of Nutella crusted knives and plates scattered in our stainless steel sink — ooh-la-la, that is when I find him very attractive!

My bedroom, when it’s cleared of unfolded clothes that drape over the side chairs — yes, that is when I see my room as a quiet haven and not a den of destruction.

My closet, full of clothes I wear and cleared of the clothes that are not my color or my style, is a happy place to get dressed in the mornings — yes, that is when I smile, especially pleased, that I just put together something I’m going to feel good in all day long.

So, yes, enjoying clean and organized spaces can feel like a gift! I dare say, organization is a part of every woman’s fantasy. [Read more…] about Organizing Beautiful Things — A Gift Idea for the Practical Mom

What Does Plastic Surgery Mean for Women?

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Piercing Image by Photographer @anikolleshi on Unsplash

Clear as glass.  Raising my recently rinsed wine glass to the light, I can see all the way through, and the clarity invites me to marvel.

That’s how I remember Miranda’s declaration, fourteen years ago.  Clear as light-trimmed glass.

“My husband and I have agreed that when I’m done having babies, I can at least get a lift, if not a full blown boob job,” Miranda announced casually in the middle of our breastfeeding conversation.

If I didn’t have photos to remind me of Luke’s first chubby-faced giggle, I might not even remember it. It the same for his pulling away from the couch to take his first wobbly steps, which looked like dangerous tightrope walking as he lunged forward, one pink, fleshy foot in front of the other. Photographs call to mind all of the important firsts that I know that I saw.  But the memory, without any pictures, is a tricky thing — sometimes hazy and unreliable.

But I remember, very clearly, Miranda’s admittance at our toddler playgroup that morning.  I didn’t snap a photo of her saying it or journal my surprised response, but I can still hear her voice the words.  At any moment, I can press Play on the button that resides in the recesses of my amygdala, where the processing of emotions begins its journey.

Luke was barely three months old, just sleeping more than six hours.  I was suffering from a lack of sleep and a lack of purpose.  I had recently left my teaching job, decided against pursuing further graduate study, and had found myself enslaved to the never-ending nap and nursing schedule of a newborn.

What in the heck are we doing? 

 My child is perfect, so why am I feeling torn about motherhood?

That morning, in an attempt to not lose my everlovin’ mind*, I packed my diaper bag for the next world war and drove to a new mom’s neighborhood playgroup. [Read more…] about What Does Plastic Surgery Mean for Women?

The Hate You Give, Brene Brown, and Jesus

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Love the book and movie so much I can’t stop thinking about them!

Have you seen the movie?

Bright lights flicker and fade to grey and then darkness.

I scooch back into my snuggly, red plush seat, and the projector reveals a figure on the screen.  I look right, barely able to make out the face of my girlfriend sitting only inches away. The pitch black of the theater invites me to focus on one image — the man about to speak to me, large and looming, straight ahead.  I feel a connection with the man on the screen because his face is the only face that is illuminated.  The darkness of the theater has a special kind of superpower.  It creates an intimacy between myself and the man who has just introduced himself as George Tillman, Jr — the incredibly gifted and bold director of The Hate You Give.

His deep voice speaks.  With conviction, Tillman looks into the camera, his eyes seemingly focused on the millions of us sitting in the theater.  He introduces this story of Starr, an African-American teenager whose name was gifted her by her father, that she might be a bright light for truth.  The book was written by Angie Thomas.

But the story is also being written out in our lives today.  How will we respond in conversations about racism?  Will we be receptive to hearing and seeing the social ramifications created by hundreds of years of white-impelled shame on people of color? [Read more…] about The Hate You Give, Brene Brown, and Jesus

Loving Lovely : Body Shame, No More

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Let’s talk. Body Shame No More in the #Sisterhood.  Photo by Brandi Ibrao on Unsplash

How do we Love Lovely? 

Lovely is the daughter that looks up into your eyes and asks you quizzically, “Why did that little girl call me fat, Mommy?  Am I really fat?”

Lovely is the friend who subtly nudges you at dinner and asks, “Hey, can we talk for a few minutes after dinner?  I’m feeling weak, losing weight, and I’m kind of scared about what is happening to my body.  I heard Jody telling another mom that she thinks I’m anorexic.”

Lovely is the young woman in your workplace who, obviously, has had plastic surgery, and she keeps to herself.  You’ve considered asking her to join you for lunch, but there’s this voice whispering in your head, “Is she fake?” and so you leave it alone.

You leave her alone. We leave her alone.

We don’t really mean to leave her alone.  We want to Love Lovely. But we struggle. [Read more…] about Loving Lovely : Body Shame, No More

The Confirmation, The Female Body, and What Is At Stake

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Photo credit to the woman who captured wit with a Sharpie, @heathermount. 

The Confirmation

I felt nervous and scared for Dr. Ford and Justice Kavanaugh two weeks ago.

I found myself swinging between anticipation and anxiety as I considered the weight of their impending testimonies. My heart thumped a little more quickly that morning as I listened to the news analysts’ predictions, speaking from my treadmill’s television screen.  [Read more…] about The Confirmation, The Female Body, and What Is At Stake

Why Every Mom Needs to Hear Dr. Christine Ford’s Testimony on Thursday

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As you know, the Supreme Court is abuzz about character this week. Photo by Claire Anderson on Unsplash

I remember that night, and my insides tremble.

It was twenty-six years ago, about this time of year.  Cool breeze brushed against my skin as my best friend and I walked down the street, to a friend’s party just around the corner.  Anticipation jogged my heartbeat faster because I knew he would be there.  It was that guy — the one who flirted with me in Spanish class, the one who threatened guys in the hallway that I stared at a little too long.  He was handsome, funny, forward, and like no one I had ever known.  My fifteen year-old self was taken with him for all the wrong reasons, but taken nonetheless.

We walked through the front door of the “party-house,” my friend and I, and we were greeted Cheers-style by a room full of familiar faces and Hellos.   The soiree had been partying for hours already.  Music blared, hip-hopping from the stereo’s speakers.  A faint hint of cigarette smoke from the patio had made its way inside the living room. Crushed Bud Light cans littered the trash can almost to the brim.  Lively conversation filled the house, and everyone had a drink in their hand.

The only other thing I remember happening that night was the upstairs part. The part where he asked if he could speak to me, alone, away from all the noise. It was something really important. [Read more…] about Why Every Mom Needs to Hear Dr. Christine Ford’s Testimony on Thursday