Juleeta C. Harvey

Empowering Women to Believe Body Truth

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This is How Women Advocate for Healthy Body Image

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Advocating for each other, we advocate for a healthier female body. Photo credit: Thanks to the very talented, Omar Lopez.

Why We Need an Advocate

According to the National Eating Disorders Association, “by age 6 girls especially start to express concerns about their own weight or shape, and 40-60% of elementary girls (ages 6-12) are concerned about their weight or about becoming too fat” (Smolak, 2011). While all genders, ages, and cultures are at risk for body image issues, young women today are struggling quietly. Girls do not want to bother their friends or their parents with questions about their changing bodies (much like their mommas don’t want to bother their friends with their own body image concerns).

We need to empower each other to speak up. If we, as adult women who serve as aunts, mothers, sisters, friends, and daughters, continue to hide our body image concerns, how will our young women learn to speak up? How will anyone know that we need help if we remain silent?

If we empower the next generation to speak, then we will know better how to help them. We will know how to advocate for them. When questions of value and identity mount, one thing is true for all of us. Every girl, young or old, needs an advocate.

When reflecting on some of the most courageous and dynamic advocates in history, I can’t help but remember the first powerful female literary character I encountered in college. Paulina is one of Shakespeare’s finest women, and one of her most famous lines in The Winter’s Tale commands even the most Shakespeare-weary audience member to perk up and listen.

In a passionate moment, Paulina commands the stage and advocates for her spurned queen: “It is a heretic that makes the fire, not she which burns in it” (2.3. 115-116).

Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash

In one of his final plays, The Winter’s Tale, Shakespeare introduces us to Leontes – a passionate, angsty, and jealous king who is convinced that his wife, the gorgeous, pure-hearted, and compassionate Queen Hermione, has been unfaithful in their marriage (Sound kind of like, Othello, right?). King Leontes spends the first half of the play making a full-hearted fool of himself and eventually banishes his wife for her alleged unfaithfulness. His madness overtakes his reason.

In this kingdom ruled by men, Queen Hermione has one advocate – Paulina. She is force and a storm. She speaks honestly and courageously for her queen, and she puts her life at risk to advocate for good. When Paulina calls Leontes to the mat and straight-faced calls him out for being “unworthy and unnatural,” all he can respond with is a childish threat. “I’ll ha’ thee burnt,” King Leontes bullies.

And this is where Paulina shines. She keeps her composure, raises herself even taller, and fearlessly looks him in the eye. She responds masterfully.

“I care not.

It is a heretic that makes the fire,

Not she which burns in it” (2.3. 115-116).

Paulina speaks up. She stands by the Queen’s side, acknowledges what she is suffering at the hands of her lunatic husband, and she remains determined to help in any way that she can.

This is what we need, Ladies. This is what our daughters need. [Read more…] about This is How Women Advocate for Healthy Body Image

Lovely and Beautiful: The Woman Behind President George H.W. Bush

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FILE – In this June 6, 1964 file photo, George Bush, candidate for the Republican nomination for the U.S. Senate, gets returns by phone at his headquarters in Houston as his wife Barbara, beams her pleasure at the news. Former first couple George and Barbara Bush’s relationship is a true love story, described by granddaughter Jenna Bush Hager as “remarkable.” They met at a Christmas dance. She was 17. He was 18. Two years later they were married. Now 73 years later, with Barbara Bush declining further medical care for health problems, they are the longest-married couple in presidential history. (AP Photo/Ed Kolenovsky, File)

I follow @michelleobama on Instagram because I admire how she greets the world with compassion and strength.  A passionate Democrat and former First Lady of The United States of America, she speaks with as much grace as any woman I’ve heard, consistently using language to compel our citizenry to unite in times of sadness and grieving.

Minutes after learning of President George H.W. Bush’s passing, Mrs. Obama posted this gracious tweet.  “As a public servant, father, and grandfather, President George H.W. Bush was an extraordinary example for us all. His spirit of service and decency will be missed by many, including our family.  I hope his memory will be a guiding light for our country and those around the world.”

Yesterday, President George H.W. Bush was memorialized by family and friends and laid to rest in Houston, TX, next to his wife of seventy-three years.  President Bush will be remembered as a man who fought to strengthen the institution of the presidency, who worked diligently to protect the United States of America from a series of building historical threats from other nations, and who above all else, sought humility and kindness in both his family relationships and friendships.

Today, I can’t help but remember the passing of his wife just seven months ago, April 17, 2018.  Maybe I think of her so much now because I recall how they loved each other. In a collection of letters he wrote to her in 1999, according to the Associated Press, he penned, “You have given me joy that few men know.  I have climbed perhaps the highest mountain in the world, but even that cannot hold a candle to being Barbara’s husband.”

Of his family relationships and friendships, his marriage to Barbara Bush was the most important.  From the time he began serving in political office, she is photographed by his side — strong, forward-thinking, and confident.  Looking back, I think her fortitude intimidated many, especially the American media who wanted Mrs. Bush to speak and look a certain way.

But Barbara Bush chose her own way.

During her service as First Lady of the United States of America, Barbara Bush was scrutinized by a number of media outlets because she looked grandmotherly, her hair white and her body shape average. As an adolescent girl, I remember magazine covers demeaning Mrs. Bush’s style choices, especially because they revealed her age.  Her clothes, her pearls, her lackluster pumps.

When asked about why she chose not to dye her hair, I appreciate the response Barbara Bush gave.  In the 2015 Today show interview with her granddaughter, Jenna Bush Hager, Mrs. Bush responded, “The white hair was because I wanted to play golf.  I wanted to play tennis.  I wanted to swim and my hair turned, as I’m sure anyone else with tell you, orange, green, yellow, depending on how much chlorine in the pool.  So I decided to go white.”

How is that for practical and confident?

Besides the countless educational initiatives she backed to help impoverished children in this country and her compassionate work for AIDS victims, here and abroad, Barbara Bush stood for something much more dignified than trendy runway looks and tweetable images that portray power.

Barbara Bush embodied the woman that Proverbs 31 praises. “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:11-12.

Today, as we conclude mourning former President George H.W. Bush, we celebrate the kind of life he intentionally chose to live.

And though I may be eight months late in saying it, Thank You, Barbara Bush, for choosing the kind of beautiful and lovely life you chose to live.

 

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Why Every Mom Needs to Hear Dr. Christine Ford’s Testimony on Thursday

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As you know, the Supreme Court is abuzz about character this week. Photo by Claire Anderson on Unsplash

I remember that night, and my insides tremble.

It was twenty-six years ago, about this time of year.  Cool breeze brushed against my skin as my best friend and I walked down the street, to a friend’s party just around the corner.  Anticipation jogged my heartbeat faster because I knew he would be there.  It was that guy — the one who flirted with me in Spanish class, the one who threatened guys in the hallway that I stared at a little too long.  He was handsome, funny, forward, and like no one I had ever known.  My fifteen year-old self was taken with him for all the wrong reasons, but taken nonetheless.

We walked through the front door of the “party-house,” my friend and I, and we were greeted Cheers-style by a room full of familiar faces and Hellos.   The soiree had been partying for hours already.  Music blared, hip-hopping from the stereo’s speakers.  A faint hint of cigarette smoke from the patio had made its way inside the living room. Crushed Bud Light cans littered the trash can almost to the brim.  Lively conversation filled the house, and everyone had a drink in their hand.

The only other thing I remember happening that night was the upstairs part. The part where he asked if he could speak to me, alone, away from all the noise. It was something really important. [Read more…] about Why Every Mom Needs to Hear Dr. Christine Ford’s Testimony on Thursday

The First Step to Making Any Change

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Taken as Sue’s, this image reminds me that timely change spurs beauty.

Change is happening here.

I have been writing about Seeking God’s Truth about Body Image for a year and a half. Crafting these stories has empowered me to believe something new.

I was meant to write.

I know this because when I am not writing, I’m not myself.

Myself is this girl with whom I’ve become more intimately acquainted over the last few years. After having spent some real time with her lately, I believe I’m starting to like her.

Sometimes she laughs for too long, and recently, her loud cackle has [Read more…] about The First Step to Making Any Change

Loving the Mom Body I Have : How Color Helped Me See My Body Anew

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When I catch a sideways glance at myself, sometimes it’s just after coming out of the shower on the way to my closet. Most of my body is exposed.  Under my eyelids and around my hippy section, I see evidence that my Mommy body is changing. Yes, as we grow up, our bodies prove that no living thing is exempt from the effects of the universe’s gravitational pull.

Bu more often than not, when I see my reflection staring back from the mirror’s glimpse, I am not so exposed.  I have dressed for the morning, or maybe even for the day ahead, and I see myself clothed.  Sometimes, I celebrate very simple accomplishments.  I changed out of my pajamas…into my favorite sweatpants.  And then there are days that I discipline myself to pull up my favorite jeans and choose a happy pair of earrings to accompany my grey V-neck.  With or without makeup to brighten my skin tone, at least I’ve chosen to get dressed.

To be completely honest, I’ve noticed the clothes I’m wearing predispose how I see myself in the day ahead. Why is this the case?

I think this is true, not just for me, but for most of us: The clothes we wear impact how we feel about our bodies.

Specifically, the color and style of the clothes we wear impact how we feel about our bodies.

Over the last year, I have scrutinized the process of “knowing your colors.” After witnessing a dozen or so friends complete their color analysis with House of Colour, I can say this.  It’s not hogwash.  I’m not rolling my eyes when I hear them mention buying something from their color palette. I’ve seen them simplify and simultaneously improve their wardrobes after having completed the analysis. It’s proven.  By knowing their colors, these women know how to do the work that leads to loving what is in your closet.

And you know what?  They’re not enjoying the clothes in their closets more because they lost weight.  Not one of them is shopping better because she suddenly has more glamourous facial features or a fresh, younger-looking hairstyle.

What has each woman chosen to do?  She has chosen to invest in Herself — without changing any thing about her body.  [Read more…] about Loving the Mom Body I Have : How Color Helped Me See My Body Anew

The C.S. Lewis Quote that Keeps Coming in the Cold

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These steps lead to the quiet riverbed by my friend’s country home. In the cold, when the rains hold off, it is still and peaceful here.

A few thoughts to wrap up Step 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Father, thank you for saving us from ourselves.

We are like the Israelites who have to be told, over and over, that we are not God over our lives.  We often find ourselves whirling from one thing to the next, tottering on the fine point of a spinning top, and we wonder in the too-much doing:

How can I keep going like this?

Is it safe to slow down?

Can I sit in la mezcla of my happy and my hurt, taking the time to inhale and exhale my self?

But you assert yourself, for our good.  You remind us that you have brought us out of a wilderness that leads to promise and healing. You speak into our noisy life, I am your way out of the “always winter but never Christmas” (Lewis). “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.  You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:2-3).

You promise to deliver us from how we once saw ourselves – not like-that-girl-enough, not attractive enough, not fast enough, not revered enough.

Today, we practice the art of believing — You desire to restore us to sound thinking so that we can make decisions for sound body-image seeing.