Juleeta C. Harvey

Empowering Women to Believe Body Truth

#1 of 5 People We Need in Our Corner – A Good Physician

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Thankful to rawpixel.com for this image.

The world is desperate for healers.  Not the kinds of people who wave their arms around a stranger’s cancer-ridden body and shout prayers for a miracle, pointing to you on the other side of the television screen. Those kinds of healers are scary.

The world is desperate for healers of a different kind.  For the kinds of people who welcome our fragile bodies into their waiting rooms, closely examine our physical weaknesses and listen to our nervous-to-utter questions.  

For the kinds of people who make us feel at ease when we are sick and when our people are sick.  They ask thoughtful questions. They are thorough when they offer suggestions and prescriptions. 

If you have a good physician in your corner, you know what I mean.

Your good physician most likely resembles Luke of Antioch, the author of the third gospel in the New Testament.  In the introduction to Luke, my ESV Hebrew-Greek Key Word Study Bible points out that Luke was widely known as “the beloved physician” (Col. 4:14).  He was known for his medical expertise, but what made him beloved was: [Read more…] about #1 of 5 People We Need in Our Corner – A Good Physician

When Jesus Says, “Arise!” How Will We Respond?

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This image, captured by Casey Horner, points to a personal lesson I’m learning. Light has the power to penetrate the darkest places, if I choose to open my eyes to see.

I did not know I was asleep.

Four days before our wedding, I moved to a new place. I drove my gold ’96 Saturn northbound on I-35, from Austin to Dallas.  My car was packed tight and high with boxes, and behind me, my parents’ truck hauled the rest of my belongings. 

And for most of the three hour drive, my insides felt like a witch’s bubbly concoction, brewing and unsettled. My excitement about moving somewhere new brought a smile to my face until the cackling sound of Fear reminded me I wasn’t moving somewhere dreamy like London or Madrid.  You, my pretty, are moving to Dallas. Ha, Ha, Ha!  

My excitement about finding a new job would last a few minutes until Fear plopped into the black cauldron of my swirling emotions.  Fear threatened, The only job left for you will be teaching English to a room full of hormone-driven, entitled middle schoolers. Ha, Ha, Ha!

Excitement and fear swirled together down deep in the pit of my stomach, and the condition of my heart was murky, at best.   

But at least I was going to get married.   

The first few years of marriage were tougher than I could have imagined.  I scrambled to get home early in the afternoons in time to cook dinner, often overreacting if my husband was running a few minutes late. In my spare hours, I attended graduate school at night and trained for triathlons. In Dave’s spare time, he watched ESPN. We had more than a few arguments about how low the television volume really needed to be so that I could still study and he could still watch football. Or basketball. Or hockey.  We disagreed on almost every financial decision — the grocery budget, the clothing budget, the eating-out budget.

Keeping my nose to the grindstone, my head down and focused on the next task ahead, I stayed busy.  Busy was my distractor.  If I could stay busy, I could close my eyes, refusing to see the girl in the mirror who was growing more lonely and confused in her role as wife.  I look back and see her standing quietly in front of the flimsy, full length mirror clipped to the top of the doorframe. She stares ahead, confused and hurt, wondering, Why don’t I feel like I’m enough?  I have everything I want. [Read more…] about When Jesus Says, “Arise!” How Will We Respond?

Enneagram New Year’s Resolution – A Healthy Approach

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I am incredibly thankful to Leslie, Amy, Angela, Keri, Tina, Adrianne, Ashley, and Sue for sharing how the Enneagram helps them approach 2019.

This summer, a few girls from the book club suggested we read Ian Cron’s The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery.  I wouldn’t say it was a gentle suggestion or even a nudge; it was more like a proclamation that it needed to happen.  The reading of this book was imperative to our learning more about ourselves and each other.  So the rest of us agreed. 

I was reluctant. Having recently completed my second round of Recovery, I felt like a needed a break from any more self-reflection.  The thought of getting to know myself anymore intimately was exhausting.  What I didn’t realize was this.  After walking through the Twelve Steps of Recovery for Life, the next best action to take toward understanding the way I was made in God’s image was doing just this.  Reading the book. Studying the Enneagram.  And laughing in a circle of trusted [Read more…] about Enneagram New Year’s Resolution – A Healthy Approach

What I Want for My Child’s Mother — Looking Ahead to 2019 —

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My son’s mother inspires my thoughts for the new year and my conviction that God-fearing women can declare truth and change what women believe. Anyone recognize the truth-telling mirror at Resident Taqueria?

My youngest son turned four years old last Friday. We adopted him through foster care. He is stunningly handsome, curly wisps of brown hair spiral behind his ears just after a fresh haircut. His caramel coloring is luscious, just a few shades darker than his four brothers’ slightly paler skin.

You can ask me almost anything about him. Is he smart? Does he love his brothers like they are his own? Did he have any problems bonding with your family? Is he, well, you know, normal?

And I will willingly answer all of those questions. My husband answers even more enthusiastically than I do. When asked about our youngest, his daddy exuberates pride like Superman beams fiery optic blasts to remind the world that justice is at hand.

But I cannot answer questions about his biological mother. Please don’t ask me about her. She is precious and beautiful and probably wrecked by the decisions she has made. Her years are too close to mine for me to distance her as “too young to get pregnant” or “too immature to know what she was doing.” I have seen her pictures and know her story. At least as much of her story as a notebook log of CPS investigations was willing to hand over on his adoption ceremony day.

But you know what? It doesn’t really matter if my son came to us through the state system or if he came from Africa or through a Romanian orphanage that barely held itself together through war-torn, barely pieced together 21st-century political strife.  

What does matter is that his mother carried him in her womb. She held him as close to her body as her steady heartbeat when nothing else was steady in her life. It matters that she chose to keep him.

She made a decision, for at least the length of 240 days, to keep his delicate, developing body in her womb. It matters that she sacrificed her physical comfort and potential opportunities to keep him until the Lord willed his living body be born into the Earth.

So you can understand why I cannot tell you her story. 

Her story is hers to tell, and her son’s story to share, if he feels so compelled and strong one day to elaborate. Theirs is a linked history that I am not privy to divulge. It is my son’s privilege to be a part of a narrative that is devastated by trauma and simultaneously blessed by redemption.  Blessed by redemption because my husband and I, his adoptive family, choose to teach him about the all-embracing, grace-filled love of Jesus.  By God’s mercy, we choose Jesus as the only Way, the only Truth, the only Life. Every waking moment.

As I look back on 2018, on the #metoo movement, on the Aly Raisman testimony, on the Kavanaugh-Ford hearings, I can’t help but remember exactly why I started writing on female body image, here. I was moved by my own experience, sure. My own very sad choice to starve my girl-body in search of happiness, not even knowing exactly that joy was possible.

But the real reason I started writing here, and did so with continued passion in 2018, was because of what I want for her — his mother.  

His mothers. Her and Myself. Both of us.

I started writing about how God’s truth impacts how we live in and love our female bodies because WE needed to know the Truth. Her. Me. And You.

I want mothers to know how abundantly God treasures and generously loves the female body. We must hold fast to the truth. No matter how “awfully” we sin in the bodies we’ve been given, the gift of redemption is offered to all of us.  And believe it is possible by choosing Jesus Christ.

“For God so loved the [whole, entire] world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” -John 3:16

This truth holds high a light for all of us, flaming a desire for change. As we look to the year ahead, Christian women, we are called to invite all women into community for the sake of God’s generous love.  Better yet, might we be moved by the Holy Spirit to embrace the prostitute, the lonely, the diseased, the addicted, even the persecuted? 

This invitation is a change from what most of us feel comfortable speaking about in Bible study huddles. It pricks the palms of our hands, where we imagine our souls. This invitation heats some of our necks and faces.  We become nervous and angsty.

Becoming more intimate with women who live “differently” than us is risky. It is not safe, but it is what Jesus came for.

It is who Jesus came for. For all girls. For all women.

For all mothers — no matter our story.

Join me in 2019 as we begin the new year exploring practical ways to help girls and women generously love their God-given bodies. 

Lovely and Beautiful: The Woman Behind President George H.W. Bush

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FILE – In this June 6, 1964 file photo, George Bush, candidate for the Republican nomination for the U.S. Senate, gets returns by phone at his headquarters in Houston as his wife Barbara, beams her pleasure at the news. Former first couple George and Barbara Bush’s relationship is a true love story, described by granddaughter Jenna Bush Hager as “remarkable.” They met at a Christmas dance. She was 17. He was 18. Two years later they were married. Now 73 years later, with Barbara Bush declining further medical care for health problems, they are the longest-married couple in presidential history. (AP Photo/Ed Kolenovsky, File)

I follow @michelleobama on Instagram because I admire how she greets the world with compassion and strength.  A passionate Democrat and former First Lady of The United States of America, she speaks with as much grace as any woman I’ve heard, consistently using language to compel our citizenry to unite in times of sadness and grieving.

Minutes after learning of President George H.W. Bush’s passing, Mrs. Obama posted this gracious tweet.  “As a public servant, father, and grandfather, President George H.W. Bush was an extraordinary example for us all. His spirit of service and decency will be missed by many, including our family.  I hope his memory will be a guiding light for our country and those around the world.”

Yesterday, President George H.W. Bush was memorialized by family and friends and laid to rest in Houston, TX, next to his wife of seventy-three years.  President Bush will be remembered as a man who fought to strengthen the institution of the presidency, who worked diligently to protect the United States of America from a series of building historical threats from other nations, and who above all else, sought humility and kindness in both his family relationships and friendships.

Today, I can’t help but remember the passing of his wife just seven months ago, April 17, 2018.  Maybe I think of her so much now because I recall how they loved each other. In a collection of letters he wrote to her in 1999, according to the Associated Press, he penned, “You have given me joy that few men know.  I have climbed perhaps the highest mountain in the world, but even that cannot hold a candle to being Barbara’s husband.”

Of his family relationships and friendships, his marriage to Barbara Bush was the most important.  From the time he began serving in political office, she is photographed by his side — strong, forward-thinking, and confident.  Looking back, I think her fortitude intimidated many, especially the American media who wanted Mrs. Bush to speak and look a certain way.

But Barbara Bush chose her own way.

During her service as First Lady of the United States of America, Barbara Bush was scrutinized by a number of media outlets because she looked grandmotherly, her hair white and her body shape average. As an adolescent girl, I remember magazine covers demeaning Mrs. Bush’s style choices, especially because they revealed her age.  Her clothes, her pearls, her lackluster pumps.

When asked about why she chose not to dye her hair, I appreciate the response Barbara Bush gave.  In the 2015 Today show interview with her granddaughter, Jenna Bush Hager, Mrs. Bush responded, “The white hair was because I wanted to play golf.  I wanted to play tennis.  I wanted to swim and my hair turned, as I’m sure anyone else with tell you, orange, green, yellow, depending on how much chlorine in the pool.  So I decided to go white.”

How is that for practical and confident?

Besides the countless educational initiatives she backed to help impoverished children in this country and her compassionate work for AIDS victims, here and abroad, Barbara Bush stood for something much more dignified than trendy runway looks and tweetable images that portray power.

Barbara Bush embodied the woman that Proverbs 31 praises. “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:11-12.

Today, as we conclude mourning former President George H.W. Bush, we celebrate the kind of life he intentionally chose to live.

And though I may be eight months late in saying it, Thank You, Barbara Bush, for choosing the kind of beautiful and lovely life you chose to live.

 

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The One Gift Every Woman Desires This Season

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Food Photographer, Jennifer Pallian, invites us to enjoy the chocolatey-sweet taste of Christmas. I love her work @foodess.

With the holidays here, sometimes I don’t generously love this body God has gifted me.  As hearty snacks roll straight into lavish meals, shared around sparkly, festive tables,  I have to keep myself in check.  I am challenged to let go of the holiday habit of shaming my body.  Rather, I am challenged to enjoy the feasting that pairs deliciously with December.

And when I do struggle, because I will, I remind myself that I am not alone. Many women struggle with the shame that comes with “too much eating and not enough exercising.”

As we drove down the last stretch of wheat-laced fields on Hwy 123 to Seguin last weekend, the radio DJ stated that she wished she “could scrape away the calories from her plate,” getting rid of the guilt that ensues with consuming too much pie at Thanksgiving.  As I clicked through the internet last week, I viewed online diet-based programs giving their readers PERMISSION to partake in their family holiday meal.  After all, it’s just “one day of cheating.”

Why do so many voices infer that enjoying the holiday meal we share with family and friends is somehow like bad behavior?

The voices that speak body shame can be gently silenced and replaced with a sweet gift.  This gift has been passed down to some of us from loving, tender people who speak wisdom from the heart of God. But for some of us, this sweet gift is new.  We have recently discovered it and are timid to open it, but we anticipate how it might bring us to hope. [Read more…] about The One Gift Every Woman Desires This Season