Juleeta C. Harvey

Empowering Women to Believe Body Truth

The Hate You Give, Brene Brown, and Jesus

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Love the book and movie so much I can’t stop thinking about them!

Have you seen the movie?

Bright lights flicker and fade to grey and then darkness.

I scooch back into my snuggly, red plush seat, and the projector reveals a figure on the screen.  I look right, barely able to make out the face of my girlfriend sitting only inches away. The pitch black of the theater invites me to focus on one image — the man about to speak to me, large and looming, straight ahead.  I feel a connection with the man on the screen because his face is the only face that is illuminated.  The darkness of the theater has a special kind of superpower.  It creates an intimacy between myself and the man who has just introduced himself as George Tillman, Jr — the incredibly gifted and bold director of The Hate You Give.

His deep voice speaks.  With conviction, Tillman looks into the camera, his eyes seemingly focused on the millions of us sitting in the theater.  He introduces this story of Starr, an African-American teenager whose name was gifted her by her father, that she might be a bright light for truth.  The book was written by Angie Thomas.

But the story is also being written out in our lives today.  How will we respond in conversations about racism?  Will we be receptive to hearing and seeing the social ramifications created by hundreds of years of white-impelled shame on people of color? [Read more…] about The Hate You Give, Brene Brown, and Jesus

Fat Shaming and Our Kids

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This image reminds me of earlier days, when my children didn’t question their beauty. Thank you, Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash.

 

My dear one looks at his brothers and cannot help but compare.

It is what we do. We compare.

It’s early, 6:30 AM, and a Monday. I’m capturing a few minutes of early-hour quiet before the Fabulous-5 crawl out of bed and head for our room for Good Morning Hugs. I hear a shuffle along the wood floor just as I am about to turn on the hair dryer.  The quiet voice in my head turns loud in an instant.  Hurry!!!! Start blow drying you hair before you lose your chance! 

I click on the heat with my right hand and position my hairbrush with my left, tilting my head sideways as he walks in.  He bumps up against me, nudging me a few inches left, and I give.  These growing high and strong boys have taught me a few lessons in the last couple of years.  If my natural reaction isn’t just a bit of body give when they lean in close, I risk getting knocked down or tripping over my own two feet.

Moving over to afford him space, he files in next to me.  He’s standing still. Not asking for a hug or a backscratch. He’s quiet.  Not asking for help with hot water for breakfast making.  He’s focused and still and quiet.

Something must be wrong. [Read more…] about Fat Shaming and Our Kids

Loving Lovely : Body Shame, No More

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Let’s talk. Body Shame No More in the #Sisterhood.  Photo by Brandi Ibrao on Unsplash

How do we Love Lovely? 

Lovely is the daughter that looks up into your eyes and asks you quizzically, “Why did that little girl call me fat, Mommy?  Am I really fat?”

Lovely is the friend who subtly nudges you at dinner and asks, “Hey, can we talk for a few minutes after dinner?  I’m feeling weak, losing weight, and I’m kind of scared about what is happening to my body.  I heard Jody telling another mom that she thinks I’m anorexic.”

Lovely is the young woman in your workplace who, obviously, has had plastic surgery, and she keeps to herself.  You’ve considered asking her to join you for lunch, but there’s this voice whispering in your head, “Is she fake?” and so you leave it alone.

You leave her alone. We leave her alone.

We don’t really mean to leave her alone.  We want to Love Lovely. But we struggle. [Read more…] about Loving Lovely : Body Shame, No More

The Confirmation, The Female Body, and What Is At Stake

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Photo credit to the woman who captured wit with a Sharpie, @heathermount. 

The Confirmation

I felt nervous and scared for Dr. Ford and Justice Kavanaugh two weeks ago.

I found myself swinging between anticipation and anxiety as I considered the weight of their impending testimonies. My heart thumped a little more quickly that morning as I listened to the news analysts’ predictions, speaking from my treadmill’s television screen.  [Read more…] about The Confirmation, The Female Body, and What Is At Stake

Why Every Mom Needs to Hear Dr. Christine Ford’s Testimony on Thursday

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As you know, the Supreme Court is abuzz about character this week. Photo by Claire Anderson on Unsplash

I remember that night, and my insides tremble.

It was twenty-six years ago, about this time of year.  Cool breeze brushed against my skin as my best friend and I walked down the street, to a friend’s party just around the corner.  Anticipation jogged my heartbeat faster because I knew he would be there.  It was that guy — the one who flirted with me in Spanish class, the one who threatened guys in the hallway that I stared at a little too long.  He was handsome, funny, forward, and like no one I had ever known.  My fifteen year-old self was taken with him for all the wrong reasons, but taken nonetheless.

We walked through the front door of the “party-house,” my friend and I, and we were greeted Cheers-style by a room full of familiar faces and Hellos.   The soiree had been partying for hours already.  Music blared, hip-hopping from the stereo’s speakers.  A faint hint of cigarette smoke from the patio had made its way inside the living room. Crushed Bud Light cans littered the trash can almost to the brim.  Lively conversation filled the house, and everyone had a drink in their hand.

The only other thing I remember happening that night was the upstairs part. The part where he asked if he could speak to me, alone, away from all the noise. It was something really important. [Read more…] about Why Every Mom Needs to Hear Dr. Christine Ford’s Testimony on Thursday

Body Truth : Maya Angelou Speaks it Phenomenally

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In the poem below, “Phenomenal Woman,” Maya Angelou paints a picture of radiance. This image, by Kyle Loftus, gives us a glimpse of what she writes about in the third stanza — “the sun of my smile.”

This sultry, swaggering, stirring collection of words by the one and only Maya Angelou will beckon you to read and reread again.  Her poetry is full of vivid language, and her writing style is unmatched.  I hope you, my reader, find a smirky kind of smile on your face as you discover this gleaming gem — her poem, “Phenomenal Woman.”  Maybe you’ll even see your yourself in it.  Your lovely body as a gift, meant to stun the world with its beauty.

My praises to you, Ms. Angelou.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
—
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
—
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
—
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
—
Maya Angelou, “Phenomenal Woman” from And Still I Rise. Copyright © 1978 by Maya Angelou. Used by permission of Random House, an imprint and division of Penguin Random House LLC. All rights reserved.